“Our Silence Had Never Been Hollow”: Autotheorizing Queer Relating

Abstract

This essay reflects on the themes, arguments, and creative process of my PhD thesis, an autotheoretical memoir exploring the experience of being neurodivergent, non-binary and closeted within Greek society. Drawing on a combination of creative and theoretical methodologies, I examine my lived experiences through a self-reflexive and analytical lens. This process unfolds through a dialogue with scholars, writers and artists who inspired my research and personal journey. I explore how experiences, feelings, bodily sensations, interpersonal interaction and community participation can be critically examined through autotheory. In doing so, I aim to illuminate aspects of Greek millennial, non-binary, and neurodivergent life. A central argument of my research is that coming out as a queer person is never an isolated personal choice, but is shaped by cultural, social, and familial contexts. Equally, choosing not to come out does not make someone less queer or less politically radical. In certain cultural settings, queer people must negotiate compromises in order to survive and make their lives livable, often realizing that what Lauren Berlant calls “the Good Life” remains unattainable. Finally, I reflect on the personal, academic, and political potential of autotheory for making sense of lived experience and resisting against systemic oppression.